Skip to content


Your cart is empty

Hey Girls, the Fire in Me Is Burning Again. How About You?

Change your mind change your life by Desiree Driesenaar

We are standing in a circle. A circle of 17 woman, representing 12 countries. All in our beautiful dresses, we wait. We have just wrapped a Sacred Nomad Blanket around our shoulders, designed with seeds of life mandala . We have chosen a crystal and put it in the middle on a kind of altar.

We are having a ritual.

And rituals make me kind of uncomfortable. I never know what to feel. What to do. What to think. All these woman must be much more experienced in this kind of thing than I am…

But it’s part of The Heroines’ creational process, so I jump into the unknown and am brave. These womxn have been my companions for days already. We laughed together. We cried together. No need for hiding.

I just have to be me.

We are asked to get into a yoga baby pose and put the blanket over our heads. Like a nest. A womb. It feels cozy. And with minutes passing, I feel a power in me rising I haven’t felt before. I want to laugh. So I do. I want to burst out of the cocoon. But I don’t do that. Yet.

It is as if my body becomes ablaze inside. A good fire. A fierce fire. And I’m not an exceptionally fiery person, to be honest. I have kind of a calm life. And I like calm environments. In those kinds of environments, I can feel myself best and be most productive.

Even in my writing, I don’t rant very often. So, what’s this about fire, I ask myself?

The Fire in Me

We are asked to come out of our cocoons and I see on the faces of my sisters that they all had different experiences. Some cheeks are wet with tears. Some eyes shine like crystals in the moonlight. Some limbs are still shaky.

Michal Monka, the designer of this ritual, is dressed with a white feather crown on her long hair. She puts her hands to the crown. Looks with great attention around the circle. And when her eyes meet mine, I feel her heartfelt thank you go deep into my bones.

She takes off the crown and puts it lovingly on her neighbor’s head, who repeats the ritual. Seven womxn do their thing before the crown reaches my head. And when it does, I know, I just know, I will not stay in the circle like the others.

I have to meet the fire.

Next to the circle, the fire has nearly died by now. Earlier in the day, I had gathered the wood myself. I built the pyramid of wood and added stacks of pine cones and pine needles.

Little did I know that this fire would have something in store for me. This fire would dig deep into my past issues, heal my present me, and light the fire of my future self. This fire is part now of a truly transformational ritual.

My Grandmother

With the white feather crown on my head, I stand by the fire. Wriggling red worms glow the embers. They seem to enter my heart via my eyes. Salty drops become rivers on my cheeks. My grandmother appears on my dark eyelids. I relive the nightmares I had as a teenager after she committed suicide with fire. It broke so much in me. I forgot all about it. Now, 40 years later, it all comes back.

When she says goodbye, I feel a force in me rising. The tears make way for roaring laughter, I make a gesture with my hand and the fire shows high flames. Only when I walk back to the group, I notice that my sisters are all standing with their hands towards me, supporting me, and looking at me in awe.

They called me Mountain Woman before. It might be Fire Woman next. It’s the start of a new chapter. A life chapter with less fear. And more creational fire than ever.

Sacred Geometry as a Healer

Michal Monka, the founder of Royal Gypsy, designs the sacred geometry blankets. She believes in magic. Her purpose is to heal womxn (and men) from the outside in and help them feel their creational powers. Well, she succeeded with me big time…

A few days later she asks me to assist with a photoshoot she does with Bianca Rothchild, her co-host in the ritual, and she takes these pictures of me.

I see a me that isn’t me. And still… this is me! What am I becoming? I’m mighty curious to experience the rest of my Heroine’s Journey…

Me as the Mountain Woman? Or Fire Woman? I’m definitely rewilding my soul in this picture with the olive tree. Picture made by Michal Monka.

Deeper Layers of World Shifts and Rituals

Before you think this story is just about a woman who had some experience with fire and healed her mental wounds, I would like to invite you some layers deeper into this story. And become conscious about world shifts and the power of ritual.

What’s happening in the world right now? I truly believe we are in the moment of history where the shift is happening from Anthropocene to Syntropocene. We are going from a worldview where humans try to control everything to a worldview where we recognize the power of Nature again. The power of the Universe.

And we will not only respect Nature again, but we will also learn how to create the future together with her.

From Anthropocene to Syntropocene. Illustration by Anna Blume

The Syntropocene asks of us to go beyond our rational minds. To let intuition in and integrate all into action. Rituals help us do that. They inspire what some people call magic. What others call intuition. And what still others call spirituality. We need our arational mind (our right brain half) to be included in our thinking and actions more than ever in the Syntropocene.

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration”

—Nikola Tesla

What happened in this Heroines Ibiza Experience with me? I’m not exactly sure, but I think the incident with my grandma in my teens and the nightmares that followed had a deep influence on my life. Did I become afraid of the fire in myself? I have definitely been a conflict avoider…

Always hesitant with my own anger. Always hesitant with my own enthusiasm even. And the ritual with the fire brought it back. Healed it somehow. Rituals might be portals through which we can heal stuff from our past that we did not even know influenced us so much.

This is what is said about rituals in Ancestral Medicine: “Everyone has loving and wise ancestors they can learn to invoke for support and healing. Coming into relationship with your ancestors empowers you to transform negative family patterns into blessings and encourages good health, self-esteem, clarity of purpose, and better relationships with your living relatives.”

I’m so curious what I will learn more about rituals during Opening Earth 2021, where I will be a story making mentor. I hope it will make me more comfortable with applying rituals in my life somehow.

What’s in This Story for You?

As a reader of Change Your Mind, Change Your Life, you are on a path of self-transformation. And rituals can help you change your life too. Traumas are happenings in the past that hinder you in the present. And they can be healed. Fears, contrary to traumas, are projected happenings in the future that can be turned into joyful curiosity, exploring what comes next.

Traumas and fears are both holding us back from becoming what we can be. We can be powerful, creational creatures who own their lives, and feel confident enough to have great relationships with other people.

We have the power to create, you know. And for all of us, it’s time to overcome our feelings of victimhood. Let’s stop whining that the world is unfair and create new realities in our own surroundings, with our own loved ones and communities.

Turning fear into joy is a great step towards creating new realities. Only joyful people have enough energy to create a better future for themselves and their loved ones. And as a proper ending to this story, I’ll give you some clues on how I go about it these days.

  • When I feel fear, I sit in it. I walk with it. I sometimes cry or rage, but most of all I feel it properly until the fear lets me go. It’s a rather physical process for me, sometimes with conscious breathing and shaking. The joy enters easily after that
  • Rituals are my exploration ground now. I recognize that rituals can be powerful transformers. And tools such as this sacred geometry blanket, a fire, or crystals make rituals easier and more powerful. Just as having a group of trusted sisters (or family, friends) around you for support
  • I make lots of time for Nature connection. I feel Gaia more strongly than ever now. I listen to her, talk to her. And I even moved my temporary home to Greece to be close to the sea and the mountains. I know I can create better in such surroundings. So I adapted my reality

And you can do all this too…

Happy transformation. And I’m super curious about your experiences with rituals. Tell us. Let’s talk…


You can find me somewhere on our beautiful planet, with my hands in the soil and my eyes focused on the stars. Abundanism and Linktree. Thank you, Mike, for adding your wise energy to my words.

© Désirée Driesenaar, 2021

Read more

I Believe in Magic

I Believe in Magic

iam_alchemy @royalgypsy3 initiated her ceremony with these words. Even dear Michal, didn’t know how strong magic is when you share a space with other powerful women that also believe in ma...

Read more